Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Critique Time - Feel free to leave constructive criticism and does this make you want to read more?

Chapter 1
New Parents

 I am Ariana. 

My life begins in the midst of a technological revolution. Humans are finding ways to move faster and creating all manner of innovations meant to save time, freeing humanity from some of the more tedious chores necessitated for day-to-day living. The reality is that people seem to have less time for the simple pleasures in life and instead, race through their lives, hurry-scurry, like rats lost in a maze.

My birth heralds the beginning of the greatest changes to happen in the current civilization’s recorded history. Okay, maybe I’m stretching the truth a bit, as that statement has little to do with me, but it does apply primarily to the “Baby Boomers” born in the United States of AmericaIn the future, this time will be called “The End of the Age of Innocence”.

I arrive on a sunny Sunday morning in early October, in the romantic city of San Francisco, California. I will always think of this “City By The Bay” as one of the most beautiful on Planet Earth.
At that instant in time, my destiny intertwines with two young people, Jackie and Marianne, my unwitting, completely unprepared, and frequently reluctant, parents. Their first gift to me is my name, Ariana Lenore Warlach. 

The first time I can remember meeting them, I am unable to speak, wrapped up tightly in a blanket with even my arms snugged up against my sides and I’m lying inside a plastic box staring up at them. I listen carefully as they introduce themselves as Mama and Daddy. Mama follows the introduction by saying, “Ariana, we are your parents and will be taking you home with us in a few days”.
Inexplicably, her words fill me with happiness.
*******
Meet my parents or at least what I have gleaned over the years about their younger lives…. 
Mama’s name is Marianne Eleanor Dunne. She was born in San Francisco, as her mother and father were before her.
Marianne’s Granna Mary, her Uncle Buddy, and Aunt Eleanor came to California from Clifden, Connemara, along the western shores of Ireland. They arrived on Ellis Island, New York and made their way westward, never looking back. All their worldly possessions secured within a few worn leather cases. Granna Mary will tell anyone that would listen that she’d made the decision to leave the only home they’d known to escape certain poverty, which she attributed to the great “Potato” famine that had happened at least 30 years before she was born.
The Irsh have long memories, it seems.
Marianne is an attractive woman, with light reddish-brown hair that frames her heart-shaped face. Her large violet-blue eyes can’t hide a lie, not that she would dare, even if she thought she could get away with it. Her milky white skin is covered with small brown freckles and burns easily no matter how hard she tries to get a tan.  She’s proud of her 22 inch waist and fond of laughing in her soft way, remarking, “I’d be as brown as an Indian, if all my freckles would just grow together.” 

When I’m a little older I always giggle along with her, pretending my mama is the famous Shoshone woman, Sacagawea, who helped the Lewis and Clark expedition. 

Marianne is majoring in English at college and everyone just assumes she will become a school teacher when she graduates.  

When Marianne was younger, she harbored a secret dream of becoming a nun, donning the habit and spending a quiet life in a convent. The only one she shared her dream with was her best friend and younger sister, Polly.
The gregarious red-head, Polly, only a scant year younger than Marianne, tried to be understanding about her sister’s dream, but there was no way she wanted to be any part of that plan. Pretty clothes, boys, and dancing were just too much fun. She certainly didn’t want to give all that up to be a stuffy old nun, but if that was Marianne’s desire, far be it for her to stand in the way. 
Marianne’s desire to become a nun ended abruptly when she was in ninth grade.
A contest for the best science project was posted on the school bulletin board and the first place winner would receive a beautiful little statue of the Virgin Mary.
The minute Polly laid her hazel green eyes on the hand-painted porcelain figurine of the Blessed Madonna; she knew she had to have her. Even though she had never won anything competitively in her life, she enters the contest.
Marianne can tell by the gleam in Polly’s eyes how much her sister wants the statue and offers to help. Together they work diligently for several weeks, using their hard-earned allowance money to buy the necessary supplies to complete the project. Polly shows the finished project to all her school chums the day before it is due to be turned in. They all agree that the Madonna will certainly belong to Polly when all is said and done.
Everyone at Sacred Heart Cathedral school, nuns and schoolgirls alike, know that none of the other students has put as much effort into their projects as Polly has put into hers.
The day finally arrives for the projects to be judged. All the girls assemble on the bleachers of the school gymnasium to await the pronouncement.
Polly can think of nothing else except her desire to hold the little statue in her hands, and barely contains her excitement when they take their seats.
She sits sandwiched between Marianne and her friends, waiting with unbridled anticipation, thinking about how surprised and proud her Mama and Da are going to be.

A ripple of shock, like an electric current, followed by trepidation runs through the girls when Sister Francis approaches the podium. They had not known she would be the judge to announce the winner and it's common knowledge amongst the girls that Sister Francis is not fond of Polly.
The nun lifts the small statue, looks directly in Polly’s direction, a wicked little smile creasing her shrewish face, and with what appears to be malignant satisfaction, pronounces, “This year’s winner for the best science project goes to… [pauses to shuffle her papers on the podium] …Clara McNeely. Congratulations Clara!” Clara squeals with feigned astonishment and hurries to collect her prize, to a round of rather subdued applause. Clara is the wealthiest girl in school, a tall, willowy, blonde, 10th grader, well-known to be Sister Francis’ classroom pet. She’s also known for her mean streak a mile wide when it comes to taunting the younger girls at school.
Marianne’s heart breaks for her sister. The look on Polly’s face is one of utter devastation and shame.  Marianne decides in that instant that she will never become a nun. She knows in her heart that she cannot possibly join a group of people that would include a vindictive woman like Sister Francis, all the time preaching to love one another as they love Jesus and yet allow such a blatant display of unfair cruelty…especially when it involved her beloved little sister. She sends up a little prayer to apologize to God and asks that just this time he will forgive her for her decision. 

*******

I tend to believe things happen for a reason and this incident had a significant impact on my future life. I’m really glad Mama didn’t become a nun! 

******* 

Marianne has just turned twenty when she meets Jackie. She is working part-time to help pay for her college tuition in the accounting department of a large paper manufacturer in downtown San Francisco.

Marianne and Polly like to dress up and go out with their girlfriends to the USO on Treasure Island. Every Friday night, unless one of them has a date, they drive out to the island to dance and flirt with the young sailors.

One balmy spring evening, Jackie is there with several of his buddies. They sit around a table drinking martinis, trying to act suave and sophisticated, while watching other couples dancing.  At an outburst of merry laughter, their attention is immediately drawn to the main entrance, where a bouquet of pretty young women has entered and stands busily surveying the room. Each young lady is dressed to the nines in her Friday night finery.
One girl spots an empty table, pointing excitedly towards it, and then all of them sashay around the dance floor to claim a chair.

Not one to be shy and wanting the opportunity to be first to claim one of the girls, Jackie struts right over, flashes his most winning smile and politely asks the young girl that has caught his eye to dance. Marianne, who loves to dance, smiles shyly up at the dashing stranger with the jet black hair and the eyes the color of robin’s eggs and says, “Sure!”

He whirls her around the floor with an expertise that makes her catch her breath. How her laughter rings with pleasure when he proves how good he can jitterbug! He tells her that she is the best dance partner he’s cut the rug with in a long time. They spend the rest of the evening together, dancing and talking, happy to discover a mutual interest in the theatre, music, and literature. Adding to their amazement and marveling at fate, they learn that they both work for the same paper company in the city. They are separated by several floors, but still surprised that they’ve never met. Jackie gives Marianne a wolfish grin than says, “I surely would remember someone as pretty as you if I’d seen you there!” This causes Mama to blush and laugh, but inside she is pleased as punch. He continues, “I work down in data processing, which is pretty isolated from the rest of the building. Honestly though, I’ve got my feelers out for a better job opportunity. I want an office with windows and a view.” He winks at her then. She begins to wonder if he’s the one, as he pulls her by the hand, whirling her back onto the dance floor.

Later, still reluctant to let her get away when the time comes for Marianne to leave with Polly and her friends, Jackie asks her to go out to dinner the next night and she accepts. 

*******
Mama is always saying, “Your Daddy ruined me for any other man, because he knows exactly how to show a girl a grand time on a date”.  
*******

Marianne is twenty-one when she marries Jackie, in Reno, Nevada.  He is five years older.  Thirteen months later, I will arrive to change their world forever.
******* 

I know less about my father’s early years. I know that his birth name is Garrick Thomas Warlach. His family nicknamed him Jackie when he was a toddler. Jackie is the name everyone calls him now, except me. To me, he’s just, Daddy.

Daddy was born in a small town in Pennsylvania. His ancestors migrated to America from Wales and picked the Keystone state to begin their new lives.
Daddy is a thin man, of medium height and a flair for fashion. His hair is the glossy black of a raven’s wing. He has high cheek bones, a strong chin and a hawk-like nose, while his eyes, a piercingly bright blue, are startling against his suntanned complexion and dark hair.
Daddy’s very artistic. He paints, plays the piano, sings, and is a schooled dancer.  He has the reputation for being the life of the party and is invited to all the soirées in San Francisco.
His life’s dream was to go to Hollywood and become an actor, but ended up living in the Bay area after his discharge from the military. He had been stationed at the Presidio Army Post towards the end of the Korean War.

He never achieved that dream of stardom and it continued to be a small thorn in his side for a large portion of his life.

Daddy has a secret though. No one knows about the anger Daddy hides deep inside himself. To the outside world, his real face is hidden beneath a handsome smiling mask, one that can charm everyone he meets and is so very deceptive.

I will learn Daddy’s secret, but not yet.

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